5.Versluys'.us

4 years later, and we still feel the same way about each other.

And I’m still really in love with my bridesmaids’ dresses.

Even after the best wedding, a bride can always find something to “regret” about the wedding, or at least wish occasionally for a do-over, but my bridesmaids’ dresses do not belong in that category. The pathetic candle centerpieces? Yes. Does the memory of the boring glass votive cluster on a plain tablecloth keep me up at night? No.

But you know what (who) does keep me up at night? The three little girls who have enriched our lives and completed our family in the four years since this wonderful scene:

I remember being excited, happy, and eager for the future. Funnily enough, in my mind, the wedding itself wasn’t the real “start” to our marriage. The first time we encountered a challenge together truly cemented our union. And that first challenge arrived quite quickly, with the news of Roma’s existence just three weeks after the wedding. We were “supposed” to spend the first year of marriage in newlywed bliss, working our jobs and going to school, returning home to a cozy condo every night to spend quality time together in front of the fireplace.

To be honest, I don’t know how I knew, but I had a strange feeling (deep down – you know those kind?) that I would get pregnant in the first month. I didn’t drink anything, not even a yummy microbrew, at our Colorado reception because I just had that feeling. And I wasn’t even detectably pregnant yet.

Which is why I also didn’t buy into the idea of the honeymoon year – I remember Eric and I walking around the campus of CU Boulder just a couple weeks after the wedding, talking about the possibility of being pregnant. We agreed that if I was pregnant from the honeymoon, it was something we would embrace. But if I wasn’t, we’d wait a year to even think about having kids. Even as we made that “bargain”, I clearly remember thinking, “oh, I sure hope I’m wrong” as I felt that deep down feeling.

I wasn’t wrong, and we spent the entire day (Labor Day, ironically) after learning the shocking news just hanging around our furniture-free condo trying to process.

It was that day, rather than August 12, that truly made our marriage real to me. Roma brought with her the realization that our life together is never going to be what the world expects from a marriage – because when God is in control and He manifests Himself in our lives, it’s usually in ways others may not understand unless they know Him.

When Eric learned that he was already a papa after three short weeks, the look on his face was priceless. But it was his response in the days, weeks, months and years following that showed me what kind of man I married. He never expressed regret for embracing God’s will, from our whirlwind courtship to our honeymoon baby. Throughout the last four years, Eric has confirmed through his actions what I knew on our wedding day: that he is committed to loving his wife and family with a sacrificial love, and that our marriage means more to him than just an earthly union.

We have had some tough times in our four short years together, and continue to encounter challenges and struggles every day, but whenever I doubt our ability to keep on amidst the struggles I am reminded that it is not our ability that keeps our marriage thriving.

Good and upright is the LORD; therefore he instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way. All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies. Psalm 25:8-10

It doesn’t hurt that we are still crazy about each other.